Thank You, Erin Andrews

Thank You, Erin Andrews, For Being as Great As The Greats,

And For Giving Us Back Our Sleeves

Erin Andrews World Series

Thank you, Erin Andrews, for being a sportscaster as great as the greats of this century, and last. Your work on the 2014 Word Series broadcasts was impeccable, authoritative, and exuberant. When you passed the mic to Bud Selig during the World Series trophy ceremony, your smile was one of a ten year-old girl delighted to be witnessing baseball history. You saved the MVP award ceremony when that poor fellow from Chevrolet almost hyperventilated and passed out as he was reading his speech to Madison Bumgarner.

Your preparation for and, therefore knowledge of, every game you cover is complete, and you roll with the punches when something unexpected comes up, like when you told Buster Posey’s son to “get it together” after the San Francisco Giants won the National League Championship. We, as viewers, always know it’s going to be a good interview when you ask the player, coach, or manager about the key turning point of the game. It’s clear the players, coaches, and managers respect you and they never treat you “like a girl” even though you don’t shy away from being “like a girl.”

Finally, thank you, Erin Andrews, for giving us back our sleeves. Ever since 2008, when First Lady Michelle Obama stepped out in sleeveless outfit after sleeveless outfit, almost all newscasters and sportscasters have been sleeveless (Hello, ESPN, I’m talking to you). Perhaps someone did some research years ago that showed women in sleeveless shift dresses are more attractive to the viewing public than women wearing sweaters, or jackets. But now there are no sleeves, just a sea of well-toned arms and brightly hued shift dresses. Why?

We want our sleeves, and you have given them back to us. There you were, on the field and in the studio, in your comfy-looking jeans and turtleneck sweater, with SLEEVES, topped by a weather-appropriate, oversized blazer with turned-in lapels. You looked great, and you were wearing SLEEVES.

Thank you, Erin Andrews, for inspiring women to be successful, to accept bigger jobs than they think they can handle, and for wearing sleeves.

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Rules of Engagement, Or Why Democrats Should Behave Like They’re in Whole Foods on a Thursday Night

Whole Foods Parking Lot
This week was an exciting week. Thanks to Jill Robinson, a piece I wrote was posted on the Huffington Post. You can read the post here, and I’ve reposted the text below.

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Machiavelli said, “Make mistakes of ambition and not mistakes of sloth. Develop the strength to do bold things, not the strength to suffer.”

Congressional Democrats would do well to heed such advice as they face the mid-term election in just over a fortnight. President Obama’s approval rating may be at an all-time low, but he got the Affordable Care Act passed and it’s working. Millions of people currently have health care who didn’t have health care a year ago. Sure, it was hard, and there were some bumps in the road (can you say “worst website EVER!”), but America has inched a tiny bit closer to the national health care standards set by countries like Sweden, the United Kingdom, and even Canada.

This is a giant feather in the Dems’ cap and what are they doing with it? Nothing. Not a darn thing. Congressional Democrats are letting the Republicans drive the story points in almost every race across the country. OK, we better beef up our armed forces otherwise ISIS is going to hit U.S. soil TOMORROW. But, wait, we can’t forget about closing our borders so that Ebola doesn’t wipe out half the population. Or maybe the best course of action is to reduce taxes, allow open carry, ban gay marriage, and put prayer back in schools. How about that?

What the Democrats need to do is pretend they’re at Whole Foods on a Thursday night. What they need to do, right now, is imagine themselves turning their Prius/Volt/Tesla into the store’s parking lot, only to realize, too late, that they turned down the parking aisle in which a medical-marijuana-toasted, middle-aged dude with no back-up camera on his beat-up, copper-colored Saturn repeatedly backs out of, and then into, a compact space that’s too compact for his mid-sized sedan. When faced with this situation, any self-respecting Democrat would see danger ahead and spy the hipster family walking straight towards their aisle carrying a mere two bags of groceries. Most intelligent Democrats would immediately turn on their blinker so as to warn all around them that they “own” the space soon to be vacated by said hipster family. If anyone else dare get near the soon-to-be-empty space, all REAL Democrats would honk and curse out the window to warn off the predators. But when faced with an opponent from the opposite party, no, they simply sit silently in their car and wish the crazy medical-marijuana-man away. It ain’t gonna happen. Ever.

What Congressional Democrats need to do, now, is go on the offensive. They need to remind Americans that the President’s party kept its promise to provide affordable health care to all. They need to remind Americans of the ridiculous lengths the Republicans went to to scare people into thinking the President, and his party, were going to turn this country into a Socialist state. You don’t hear Republicans referring to “Obamacare” now, do you? No, because they study Machiavelli and they know that “fear preserves you by a punishment that never fails.” Yep, the Republicans have the fear thing down. They realize Americans aren’t fearful about health care anymore, so they’ve turned our attention to ISIS and Ebola and higher taxes.

What the Democrats need to do, now, is use Machiavelli’s principles to direct voters’ attention to the fact that Republicans tried to block their access to affordable health care. When they lost that battle, Republicans even tried to reverse the Affordable Care Act. What Democrats need to do, now, is remind Americans that if they vote for a Republican, they are voting against access to vaccines for children, cheaper medications for seniors, and wellness care for all Americans. What Democrats want is to be loved by their constituents, but Machiavelli tells us that it’s better to be feared than loved because love is fickle while fear is not. Machiavelli is right.

The Democrats have the killer instinct in them. They do. They have searing ambition, which can blind them to the thin, gray line between ethical and unethical. Democrats have the potential to subsume their interest in others to their interest in themselves. But they have a problem. Their Achilles heel is they want to be loved. Their need for love seriously hinders their chances of winning the mid-term elections.

What Congressional Democrats need to do, right now, is pretend they got that parking space from the hipster couple and they are in line at the deli counter in Whole Foods on a busy Thursday night. There’s a confused, old man, with dirty pants, in front of them and he’s just put his little paper number on the deli counter for a second while he digs in his sticky pants pockets for a snotty hanky, or something. What Democrats needs to do, right now, is quickly switch their higher number with the dirty man’s lower number, which is the next one due to be called. If the smelly, confused man realizes something is wrong, the Democrats need only to begin ordering loudly and then answer an imaginary call on their Bluetooth earpiece.

I know the Democrats can do this. I have seen them at Whole Foods on a busy Thursday night, doing whatever they need to do to get their artisanal ham and hand-crafted, soft cheese. I have seen them.

It is better to be feared than to be loved.

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